Finalis Cogitata
by Synweaver
Summary: Everyone has them.


_I had so many hopes and plans to write this summer. Instead I got sidetracked at every opportunity. So much for a return._

 _To anyone who still reads my crap, sorry for the lack of content._

 _Nothing much here, just a thought and a free night._

 _Ciao_

Your life flashes right before your eyes before you die.

You've heard that phrase before. A thousand times probably. It even translates for the other species. Frankly a flash always seemed to brief but I'm overthinking this. I do that, just like bleeding, getting shot, and saving the galaxy. Yeah imagine that on a resume.

My life…my life has not been okay to put it bluntly. True everyone suffers in life, I'm not trying to put myself a pedestal of misery here. But ask around some time, you'll wonder how I ever lasted as long as I did.

Hell technically I haven't, being dead and all. That's always a fun icebreaker. You're in the military? Well I'm a zombie. I'm sure we'll get along just fine. That one doesn't even go over well with my friends.

I am so very lucky to have them. They're all great fighters and better people. My best friend is a wise-cracking Turian, a rarity in-and-of itself, and the galaxy's greatest sniper.

Yeah I said it Garrus, I'll actually admit to it now. Enjoy your statue. Make sure it eclipses the Krogan memorial just to piss Wrex off.

Garrus…he's been with me since that day in Dr. Michel's clinic. The bright eyed, naïve kid who wanted to see justice in an unjust galaxy. He probably could have found a better way to fulfill that desire than chasing down Saren with a bunch of loons but it worked out. Ex-cop, vigilante, and finally military advisor. However he kept his head during all that, I just hope it helps him in the years to come.

Peace is going to be a bitch for him.

Where was I? Oh yeah friends and being a zombie. I'm sure you're itching to hear about the second one. Just imagine how that worked out on dates. At least I wasn't asking the waiter for brains. Damn near everyone is fresh out anyway.

I'm probably exaggerating on it anyway. Yeah I died, got brought back without the aid of spooky, evil magic, and here I am now. Where is here anyway? Hang on…

Okay opening my eyes is not a good idea. Back shut they go.

Really I'm more machine than man by this point. Miranda showed me a diagram once, at my request. Lot of metal in me now, most of it for bones. It has its benefits, like not having my ribcage shatter when Grunt charges head on into me. I really underestimated how fast he could he run when he's pretending to be a bull. Anyway, it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. There were times where I stopped for a moment because I just got shot in the shoulder for example. I remember it's supposed to hurt like hell and that I can't use that arm as effectively now. Give me a few seconds and I'm good as new. It's a little jarring at times.

Like I said though, it used to bother me. Had some help with getting over it, think like a human again. Ironic as it wasn't a human who helped with that-

Sorry. Had to break to cough up some blood. Don't know where it went, eyes still shut and all. Getting harder to breathe now, to think even. Might have a concussion. Vision was wobbly earlier. I wonder if Tali ever gets that when her helmet gets hit.

Speaking of Tali, let me tell you about her. She really is one of a kind. No one else like her in the galaxy. Of course if you actually try to talk with her I'll kick your ass so hard you'll fly right into dark space. She may hate me for saying this about her but I'll chance it. She's mine and I'm hers, so no touchy.

Tali's a Quarian, so you might be wondering how I can like her, let alone love her. You could ask her that because again, zombie. But dead…undead…whatever or not, she still loves me. Told me herself back on Rannoch. Yes I've seen her face, no I'm not telling you what she looks like. That is for me only so shut up.

Ow, head's throbbing. Pretty sure I can smell copper in the air as well. And dust, lots of fucking dust.

She's really smart, knows ships better than anyone. Told me that working on the old Normandy was like a dream come true. Glad I could help. Full of energy as well. Nervous, but it's always adorable. Does this little thing with her hands where she rubs them together. Always when she's nervous or scared. It was really shocking when she admitted to being interested in me. I admit I had thought about us but never acted on it. Figured she deserved better, turns out so did she. Had a few laughs, a heart to heart, then our night together. I can still remember the feel of her body pressed against me, now suit free. Compared to her smiling face though, that was in the back of my mind.

Funny, I think I just heard her. Pretty faint though.

I think I've said enough. I'm going to just rest my eyes for a bit, come back to my story later.

"…ard!"

That was louder. Sounded familiar.

"Shepard!"

Tali?

Tali I think...I think…

"SHEPARD!"

I'm sorry.

 _Because of fucking course it would be a sad piece, asshole that I am._

 _It's Latin, supposed to be Final Thoughts. But I used Google Translate so forgive me if I am wrong._

 _Ciao_


End file.
